A Peek Into The Lion's Heart

Light thesko...!

     It isn't raining so those, on his face, are not rain drops. That means, he is sweating...! Mouth is frequently making an oval shape to suck in air and the lower jaw is moving to help it do so.. Clearly indicating that demand from lungs is more than what his nose could serve...! Eyes are keen to look back so that the distance from the fast approaching snake and wild dogs can be tracked to alert the brain accordingly...!

     Body has become a machine low on battery and thighs are certainly hungry for more energy to execute what brain says...! The irony is that few feelings like hunger can't be forgotten even if wished so. They have to be served, can't be suppressed.

     The scene is all silent. Not that it is muted but brain is busy processing other information and ears are given the least priority...! Yet the situation provides the extra will that makes him keep running...! He is running faster and faster and faster...!

     All of a sudden, eyes are opened and all he could see is ... his bed room's ceiling in dim light !!!

     "What happened? You cried out ..!",  his wife asked.

     "I had a dream wherein i was racing and there were few runners who have almost outdone me but I was just able to succeed. Out of unexplainable emotion, i might have cried.", his reply came.

     "Oh !!  Nice dream, eh ! :-)". She giggled.  -  Ignorance is bliss, apparently.

     Who said that you need to lie to hide facts? Just explain it in different words and keep it simple.. Not many brains can understand plain words and their real meanings. A small question, 'Who are the other participants in that race?' could have made her realize how grossly wrong, she was in her interpretation.

     As these thoughts passed his mind, he smiled gently and moved into balcony.

     Addictions like smoking are quite useful in these kind of situations. But he doesn't smoke, so he resorted to his own addiction, thinking.

     People say that God saves us while in troubles. If he could do so, why does he create troubles in the first place? After all, is he a conspirator?

     The twinkling stars are actually brighter than the Sun but they appear to be dying lights. Likewise many dreadful problems are just nightmares and not real. What you see or what you perceive may not necessarily be the fact, but what you believe is what matters to you. So my Dear, there is no need to worry. Take things lightly and believe me that good times are ahead :-), he said to.....

Change Is The Only Constant !

     There was a man, thirsty and desperately looking for water. He came across a river and drank some water. Notwithstanding the influence of his thirst, he genuinely liked the taste of water. He liked it so much that he could not resist drinking water at least once a day from the river. Season changed and the river saw new water. The man could no longer feel the same taste.

     Disappointed, the man who sat alongside of the river bank suddenly noticed the beautiful sky embellished by the setting sun. That has stimulated the deepest neurons to make him euphoric. Nevertheless, the dysphoria caused by the river water had its impact in elevating the effect of the sun set. He would then make sure to be ready by sun set and savour the magnificent sky view painted with different variations of orange color everyday. Days passed on, the law of diminishing interest has started proving itself.

     Disillusioned with the weakened ecstasy of his once favorite evening view, he was lost in an unknown world until was awakened by a sweet tone of a Koel, singing at a distance. It was so melodious and appealing that he didn't even realize that he started walking in the direction of the sound. He rested on a grassy bottom of a tree which is close enough to have a clear audibility of the lovely voice. The comfort of the grass-bed fancified the result making him see a new vertex of delight with his eyes closed. After some time the Koel stopped singing and the gentleness of grass has lost its impact.

     Distracted by the sudden void created by the disappearance of the magic spell that bound him for a while, he felt uneasy and started breathing heavily until he discovered the fragrance of surrounding air. He was mesmerized by the scent and it did not take him much time to spot the plant with an adorable flower. The grass has now regained its cushion and he has got a new pursuit. Calendar changed and the plant stopped blooming one day after serving the man for an uninterrupted period of time.

     So clueless, the man has become about his next resort after losing his latest pastime. He then started wandering at the same pace his thoughts have hit his mind. All events that have happened till then were  replayed. He observed that to maintain happiness, he had to change his interests and if he tried to maintain the same interest, he had noticed a change in the level of happiness. Furthermore, the nature too didn't allow him to maintain any interest constantly.

     With a deep sigh, he concluded that the only constant thing in this world is 'change'. Another subject has occupied his mind even before he finished his conclusion...

నేవు !

     మందహాసానికి మారు పేరు నువు అని అంటారు అందరూ. కానీ, ఏమరపాటులో ఎక్కడ నీ మనసులో భావాలు ముఖంలో కనపడుతాయో అనే భయంతో, దానిని దాచే ప్రయత్నమే నీ చెరగని చిరునవ్వు అని తెలిసింది ఎందరికి?       నీకు తప్ప!

     దేవుని నమ్మవు, దేనికోసమూ ప్రార్ధించవు అంటారు అందరూ. ఒక సగటు మనిషి తన జీవితంలో ఎన్నిసార్లు దేవుని ప్రార్థిస్తాడో అంతకంటే ఎక్కువసార్లు ఇప్పటికే దేవుని సాయం కోరావని, ఇపుడు కొత్తగా ఫలితంలో ఆశించే మార్పు ఏమీ లేదనీ తెలిసేది ఎందరికి? నీకు తప్ప!

     దేనికీ, ఎవరికీ భయపడవనీ, ఆకాశం మీద పడినా ఫర్వాలేదు అన్నట్లుంటావనీ అనుకొంటారు అందరూ. ఏదైనా కొల్పోయేదుంటేనే ఎవరైనా భయపడుతారనీ, అలాంటివేమీ లేనివాడికి భయం కూడా ఉండదని తెలిసేది ఎవరికి?         నీకు తప్ప!

     ఎప్పుడూ హుషారుగా, సరదాగా ఉండే నీవు అప్పుడపుడూ పరధ్యానంలో మునిగిపోతావనీ అనుకొంటారు అందరూ. అసలు నిజ ప్రపంచంలోకే నువు అతిథిలా వస్తావని, పరధ్యానం అనుకొంటున్న ఆ మరోప్రపంచమే నీ అసలు ప్రపంచమని తెలిసింది ఎందరికి? నీకు తప్ప!

     నీ మనసొక తెరచిన పుస్తకమనీ, నిను చదవటం చాలా సులువనీ అనుకొంటారు నిను తెలిసినవారు. వారు చదువగలిగేది అక్షరాలు మాత్రమే అని, వాటి వెనుక అర్ధాలు కాదనీ తెలిసేది ఎందరికి? నీకు తప్ప!

     కలల జగతిలో అలుపెరుగక పోరాడే ఓ నేస్తమా, నీ ప్రయాస దేనికోసమో తెలుపుమా!

What Next...?

"Don't worry, you will like it over time. Just stick to your brother. He will take care when there is a need." - my parents on my first day to school.

I still remember waving my hand as I passed our street with a confused rather frightened face of not knowing what was the reason for my fear.

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"Side, side... Plz give side .. Move away..."
### Bangggggggggggggg ###
"You #%&$@*~#@!#@ and !@#*#&*$&...You are on the wrong side of the road...@#$(*^#*$..."
"Sorry sir, I was lost... :( "
"So what? My can is broken, The liquor inside is all over the ground. Who will pay? ah! "
Without a word, I ignored all his abuses and disappeared from the place :(

The accident on my first day of cycling, to school, is still fresh in my memories.

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"It's nice meeting you. See you in college." - to Sravan on our first meeting during admissions to the college.

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"The girls are horrible these days. Let's not fall in the same old trap.." - Sravan, Siva and I, during the 4th and final year of college.

As they surface on my mind, they seem to have happened just a few days back.

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"Why are you worried? I am not going too far." - On the day of my journey to Delhi, to join my first job.

I tried to console my parents and sweet sister only to realize that my eyes were also moist.

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"Why don't you try getting into core field?" - Sirisha in my early days of software job

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"Saravana, Welcome to America" - Krishna to me, just after I landed in a country which is not my home country.

The trip, which was short though made me more practical and changed my 'foreign policy', doesn't appear years old when I think of it.

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"Hi ra, It's my marriage next month with Suma. 
I know you can't come. That's why, (I chose that date) I am not forcing you... :)" - Ladda's call, today.

As everybody feels (and so is the truth), the time flies especially when the life moves along the 'flow'. As I look back, it doesn't seem like more than a quarter of lifetime. From the day I left for school till the first few years of job, life was very structured, unconfused, focused and happy. Probably now is the chance to drive the life rather than leaving it be driven on its own.

Then is the obvious question...'What next?'. As all are saying, is it marriage and family? No. Certainly Not. We are not born just to grow and get married. There must be a meaning to the life, may not be visible to others but to our self. If not doing something, at the least we should try for something. What's that something?

The heart has a voice, the brain has another. Mind is laughing at both of them. :-)

Too Good is Not Good

     Human beings are fortunate to have more abilities than any other living beings on the earth. It is our extraordinary power of intelligence and innovation that provides the required edge, to be the most powerful, over other creatures.

     There is no power that can be used only for righteous purpose. When something can be used for right tasks, the scope exists, right there, for it to be used in wrong ways too and human intelligence is not any exception for this, which is why we see bad people around us. Our ancestors could have thought of this possibility and probably that is why they imposed a control in the form of 'Value System'. 

     As time remains invincible, the control is loosing its control and humans are deviating from the so called value system. Such deviation has picked up pace alarmingly in the recent past. Moral values, integrity, ethics are becoming the characteristics of fools. 

     Nevertheless, the basic point is... We need to live with the fact and can't run away from our lives at any cost. Then comes the question of how to deal with the bad guys?

     Recently I happened to come across a quote... "Fighting with a bad person is like fighting with a pig in the mud. After sometime, you will realize that you are getting dirty and the pig, in fact, is enjoying the game". Just because you don't like mud, shall you keep away from fighting bad? shall all good people take the beating and keep quiet?

     The answer is...'No'. In fact a big 'Nooooo'.

     Gone are the days of Gandhian ways. The rules are made to be generic and they should not be taken literally as we have got the wisdom to interpret them in the right way with its basic meaning and spirit unaltered. Even the epic books, the Sastras, say 'It is not a sin to punish a sinner and It is not right to leave a culprit unpunished'. 

     As in the case of fight with pig, try to change the battlefield if possible. If not, don't hesitate to fight in the mud. Show that bad can't win against good as being good is not a weakness but a choice. Having said that, the ultimate goal should be aligned to the basics. For example, it is okay to get dirty but you should not start enjoying the mud.

     Like a lotus leaf which doesn't get wet despite living in water, we can maintain our very nature and still fight the bad.

Dollar Dreams

"Tringgggggggg" .....   The morning alarm buzzed weirdly on a sober morning..

         Of course I never used alarm to wake up on time rather it is always for mere time updates. But today it has already snoozed twice or thrice before buzzing again.

"Ammaa... What are you doing? Kill the alarm. It's not letting me sleep."
"Ammaa...  Maaa..."

'Why is she not replying? Has she gone out to buy milk? Whom shall I ask now? Paapa? No, she would have gone to college by now. Then Dad? No, I don't give such orders to Dad. It seems I have to do it myself.' .....Quick but crisp analysis ran in my mind.

      I got up and stopped the alarm but observed an important thing with my eyes half shut. That is a one line answer to all my questions that bombarded my mind till a while back...I couldn't find the usual things around me. That means... "I am not at my home".

     The last sentence came out of my thoughts and also out of my lips. It was audible to myself... "I am not at my home". Mind started gaining consciousness.

     The apparent inference of the above statement is... I am in Bangalore room.

'But why the hell I came to Bangalore? I don;t recollect any substantial event that made me come to Bangalore. Is there any training that I need to attend or I need to give? Is there any client visit? What is that so important reason for me being in Bangalore? After all, when did I travel from Nellore to here? I don't think I spent a night in any APSRTC bus very recently.'

     Flood of questions in a sequence attacked my mind. But immediately, like a ray of hope in disguise, a thought flashed in mind which could help me get answers to all of these questions...

'Let me ask Raghav...' I turned aside to locate him with my eyes still not wide open.

'What...? I can't see Raghav, nor his belongings?'

     I got my answer to this question that too very quickly. May be mind has started working...I got reminded of him leaving the room few days ago. It also reminded me that Raghav is staying now with his parents.

"Ufff...That's fine." A sigh of relief came out thinking that I got answer to at least a question. But the relief didn't last for long as it sparked many other with no delay.

'No its not fine. If I am not at my home also not in the room... that means... that means, I am at Kalyan's home. That means, with the repeated alarm buzzes Aunty, Anna would have got disturbed by now.'  Mind became alert instantly.

"Damn My bloody laziness and sleepiness... But where is this guy, Kalyan?"

'He doesn't get up before me. Was he needed to go early to office today? But I don't see the surroundings suit even Kalyan's home... It's strange. If not at Nellore, Bangalore room nor 
Kalyan's home...Where am I?'

"Tringgggggggg......."

    The sphere of questions that surrounded my mind so far, disappeared for a moment as My attention was diverted all of a sudden with the alarm buzzing again. Mind does multitasking but at each moment of time the priority is given to only one task. May be human mind is the inspiration for a multitasking computer.

'Oops... I thought I stopped it. Seems it went to snooze mode before I could press the stop button.'
I stopped the alarm and happened to spot the time.

"My Godddddd....."
'How could this happen? I might miss the bus...I might reach office late, no matter how fast I get ready. Ah! the alarm seems to have buzzed many more times. Shoot man....'

    The idea of office and the delay that happened already due to extended sleep gained precedence of all and made me stereotypic. In a time less than the usual, all mandatory things are finished and I reached the bus stop. Certainly one doesn't need to apply mind for such routine tasks and of course my mind was still drowsy.

    While waiting for the bus, the sphere of questions appeared out of nowhere again. 'Where am I? What's happenning?'

    Again a break was applied to all the questions as the driver applied his breaks to stop the bus in front of me and I got into the bus.

"Ticket Please..." a polite order from the driver.

    I took my wallet out of my pocket. The sight of wallet made someone to occupy my mind space and the edges of mouth were stretched into the cheeks to form a curve, the so called 'smile'.
It's my elder sister.

    Within a flash of time, another series of questions pinned my mind. 'Whats actually happening  How come I boarded the bus to office alone? Where is Muks? Why didn't I think of waiting for her? It's long time now since I got used to wait for her for hours daily. Why didn't I call her to know where she is now? She would kill me surely. After all, how can she travel alone all the way to Manyata without me?'

"Excuse me Sir... Ticket please..." The stronger voice of the driver made the sphere of questions to disappear again.

"How much?" I asked in return.

"2 Dollars." the driver replied with a confident but a bit of irritated voice.

"Dollars....?"

This question has brought the complete consciousness to mind as fast as it is erupted... I got to know where I am.